I think I am depressed. I hate my job and I am starting to hate life. I get constantly rejected for jobs that I am qualified for. Some members of my family think I am a failure because I don't have a job related to my major. My friends don't call/text/visit me much anymore. I know that people drift apart as they grow up, get married, move, get jobs, have kids, etc. Whatever that's fine. It hurts me sometimes to see photos of my friends on Facebook doing things without me which happens to me A LOT. I figured if they wanted me to be there/actually liked me they would invite me. I have learned that friends just let you down and hang out with people they think better. I am sick of giving to people and getting nothing in return. I am going to close myself off even more and see who reaches out to me and actually gives a damn about me. I haven't had much of an appetite this week. Don't care. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. I am not even excited about getting married next year or the possibility that I might have a better future waiting for me. I keep turning my phone off earlier and earlier every night because no one contacts me. I need therapy but I am too embarrassed to go.
If I don't get something else soon I am going to go back to school and switch careers. I had an interview last week for an awesome job. Still haven't heard anything. I want to be positive but I have come to the conclusion that positive thinking doesn't work. Most things are out of your control and people make decisions that effect you and you can't do anything about it.
I don't like feeling this way but I have a feeling I better get used to it because nothing good has been coming my way.